I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
