If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
i need some magic done to my vagina
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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