yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
