Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
