You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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