No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
