You can't motorboat a personality
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
