i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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