Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
