hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
