never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
