Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
