I met the friendliest cop last night
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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