Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize