How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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