Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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