Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I wish i was in the wii world.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
