Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
accomplished twins. life is a go
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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