I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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