Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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