u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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