we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
