Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
