I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
