You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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