but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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