i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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