She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
