So drunk its hurt
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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