Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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