Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The power of my boobs compel you
I would fuck him just for his dog
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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