i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
