I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
