I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
