He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
never play flip cup with pint glasses
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
