She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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