Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
