he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
