i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
