I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
