Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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