At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
