Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
