How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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