Where are you?
In a non slutty way
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
