Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize