I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
