Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
