i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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