Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
