Why does Corona taste like a burp?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
