even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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