no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
