I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
