He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
