You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
