dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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