Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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