I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
