i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
