If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
