so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
