you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
