The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She's the barista slut.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
