I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Randomize
