that's an acceptable place to lick
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Is Oprah even human
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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