I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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