They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
