it's too hot outside to masturbate.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Randomize