Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
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