hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
