I cockslap morals
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
