Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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