I love black thongs
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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