Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
