gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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