would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
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