And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
