i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
i need to put some appletini on your dick
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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