My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
