Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
