If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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