It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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