is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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