I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
