Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
